Editor’s note: Zing Toys sent us several boxes of its newest office weapons this week. We took advantage of “Take Our Children to Work Day” to kid-test the toys with the children of various Wired employees. These are their unedited reactions.

Z-X Crossbow ($26)

“I think it’s awesome and I really want it. It shoots hecka far and it sticks to stuff.” –Jude, age 7

“It can’t stick to people. That’s what makes it suck.” –Luc, age 8

“It’s interesting. It shoots for you, so you don’t have to worry about getting your hand whacked.” –Clara, age 10

“This is awesome. You just trigger it, and it goes really far, and it sticks.” –Isabel, age 11

“The trigger is stuck.” –Clara, age 10

Zip-Bak Bow ($20)

“This thing is awesome! It gives you really good aiming. I also like how light it is and easy to carry. It’s made from really light materials so it can go a long distance.” –Isabel, age 11

“The fact that you have to pull it back so hard to get a good shot.” –Isabel, age 11, when asked about any downsides

“When it shoots.” –Ophelia, age 4, when asked what her favorite thing about it was

“Easier.” –Sadelle, age 3 3/4

Zing-Shot Launcher ($10)

“The slingshot’s cool.” –Clara, age 10

“Yeah.” –Ophelia, age 4, when asked if she liked it

“When you let go.” –Ophelia, age 4, when asked what her favorite thing about it was

“This thing’s hard on aim. The chances of me breaking something are about 48 to 100.” –Isabel, age 11

“The shooting part.” –Ennio, age 4, when asked what his favorite thing about it was

Nerf Dart Gun (not actually being reviewed)

“The shooting part.” -Ennio, age 4, when asked what his favorite thing about it was

Photos by Jon Snyder/Wired.com

Here at Wired, we take things very seriously. Correction — we take protecting our desks and planning sneak attacks on our coworkers very seriously. We put office-warfare gadgets to the test.

USB Thunder Missile Launcher
First on our list was the USB Thunder Missile Launcher ($36). Download the free controller software, plug in the launcher to your Windows laptop or PC by USB (a Mac update is in the works), and use your mouse or arrow keys to aim and shoot.

Because the launcher doesn’t include a webcam, ballistics are a trial-and-error affair. But it’s surprisingly easy — my first shot sent one of its four foam missiles straight into my boss’s shoulder. Oops! The sound effects are fun, but they give your victim a heads up that they’re under siege if they’re paying attention. Four foam missiles are included, and the range is up to 25 feet. Perfect for guarding your desk area, or surprising a coworker across the office.

Moon Blaster Gun
Next up is the Moon Blaster Gun, a 19-inch tube gun that uses air pressure to pop glow-in-the-dark, ping-pong-like balls across the room. Pricing starts at $12.50 on Amazon, or $65 for 10 guns direct from Glow Universe.

The Moon Blaster’s small, rolling ammo was a little tricky to locate after a round of battle, but turning the lights off may give you better luck spotting them since they glow in the dark. It definitely takes a couple of forceful pumps to build up enough pressure, but after that, the balls shot out in rapid fire. The cheapest of the bunch, and it definitely felt like it. But it’s still a fun and effective weapon.

Zing Z-Curve Bow
The Zing Z-Curve Bow probably delivered the most powerful punch in our arsenal. The foam arrows are surprisingly hefty, and they can fly up to 100 feet and strike with a vengeance. It’s also easy to use — after only a few practice shots, we were able to achieve some deadly accuracy.

This weapon is great for ninja-style guerrilla warfare because it is quiet and features a fairly slim profile. It comes with two foam “bounce back” arrows and one “Zartz” suction-cup-tipped arrow. You’ll probably want to get a pack of extra arrows so you don’t have to constantly retrieve them after only a few shots. The sets start at $18 on Amazon.

N-Strike Stampede ECS
No office battle could be complete without Nerf’s latest and greatest, the N-Strike Stampede ECS. You can’t help but feel like a badass when you’re wielding this monster. Priced at $50, it’s Nerf’s first blaster with a fully automatic clip system. One big squeeze and you can ambush your office mates with a non-stop onslaught of pink foam darts.

The N-Strike Stampede ECS includes three 18-dart clips and one 6-dart clip for a total of 60 rounds. You’ll go through the darts surprisingly fast if you hold the trigger down, so I ended up duct-taping two clips end to end for super-speedy reloading. An optional handle with pop-out bipod slides onto the bottom front of the gun for added stability; a removable blast shield slides onto the top to protect your face (but only if you keep your face inches from the blaster body).

It’s bright yellow and orange, and it lets off a loud racket while you’re unloading on the stooge from marketing, so you won’t win any points for stealth. But at least the Nerf-neon darts are pretty easy to spot amongst power cables and desk debris. It’s powered by six D batteries, which are not included.